I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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