I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
