It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
