is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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