even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
