He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's blow job season.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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