i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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