No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
two words...techno handjob
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
