Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
