someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
