Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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