My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize