If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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