I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I cut my penus on the lid.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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