I am in a vortex of obligation.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
