my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
