Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
