Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
