His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm really busy with my period
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