we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize