Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
