Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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