I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
