hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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