you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
