what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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