when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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