honey bunches of taint.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
