Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
