please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My vagina is officially offended.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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