my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
