There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize