your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
