Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
