Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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