you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
