Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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