My nipple is on Facebook.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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