Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
