the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
