Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
