I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
