U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
