he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
