After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
