I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
