we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
