So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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