I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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