school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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