; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
