I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
