I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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