I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
