he puts the penis in happiness.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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