Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
