dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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