Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He better not be in your backpack
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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