Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
