just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
