So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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