Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
