this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
