I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
