Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
