Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
