Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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