If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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