there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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