my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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