planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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