Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so explain again why im purple
no
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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