I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize