We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
